Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
