he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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