D3 body, D1 cock
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
