I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize