Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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