well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
