why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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