Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
