this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
