You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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