normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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