Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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