I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
