gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
