Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize