I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
