But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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