Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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