sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
