tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
