Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My vagina just clenched in fear
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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