i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
