I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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