Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.