it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
