Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo