Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
