Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
