i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
