Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
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I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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