I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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