need another drink. this is the easiest way
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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