She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
