I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
