I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
