i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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