Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
