You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.