Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet