do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize