I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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