I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MIDGETS
????
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
