my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
