I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
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im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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