I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
