If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
