i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
