I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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