im holly from the hills drunk
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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