You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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