I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My feet surprised me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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