spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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