i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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