I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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