idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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