just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
