How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.