oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.