every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
