Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
