Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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