I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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