i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
