I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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