Having a random hookup so left but love u
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
