I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize