it hurts more in the daytime
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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